Persevere....

I was running at LA Fitness a few weeks ago. The treadmills are on the second level overlooking the gym.  Directly across from me, within a collage of pictures, is the word: Persevere. The  letters must be 8 feet tall.  They have always been there, but I had never seen them before.   I think I needed to see it on that particular day - my run was not coming easy. My legs felt heavy, my lungs felt deflated.  But that word stared me down, silently urging me on. 

per·se·vere  

/ˌpərsəˈvi(ə)r/

Verb Continue in a course of action even in the face of difficulty or with little or no indication of success.

Synonyms persist

That word has stuck with me since that day, leaping into my mind when ever I needed it.

....

Teaching 8, 3rd graders about intersecting rays and angles and polygons during my student teaching. 3rd graders who have to work very hard to understand..... but often don't work very hard.  Missing homework. Blank stares. Tired yawns.  Are they getting it?  I must persevere. They deserve it.
	Running a 5K on a chilly February morning.  30 degrees, with a bitter wind coming around every corner I turn in the open course through a residential neighborhood, in a outlying suburb.  Cold air filling my tender lungs that have been pampered by the 70 degree indoor air at the gym.  Slick streets and hills much larger than the 1% incline I sporadically throw into my treadmill run. Hills that caused me to feel muscles I had been ignoring, and they were letting me know. No mileage markers, I had no idea how far I'd gone...or how far I had left.   I had to be close, I hadn't walked yet.  I had to persevere. I deserved it. I had to just run. I hadn't fainted, slipped, frozen, or walked.  I could do it.  I did.  43rd place.  34 minutes.
So many times we must dig deep. Work harder than we think we can. Push ourselves far out of the familiar easy places we linger in. Persevere.  Persist. The success will eventually come if we keep at it.

Running. Again.

Jan 2013.   The Journey continues.    Running.      Again.     Tired of using the word Again.  I really want to type the word still. Or successful. Or goal achieved!  (ok - that's 2 words). But I guess it's better than done, or injured or I quit.

It feels so good to run.  I can physically feel the blood and oxygen forcing all the sludge and slowness out of my brain.  I have rapid fire thoughts and emotions while I run.  I wish I could stop and write them all down.    I can feel my lungs filling with each deep intake of air.  I can feel my arms pumping the air into my lungs.  I can feel muscles that I rarely use coming alive - the muscles you don't need when running around an Elementary school all day or carrying laundry to the basement.  I can feel my feet pounding to the beat of my newly made playlist, trying to keep up with the songs I knew would be a little faster than my comfortable pace.

I like all these feelings. I like writing the words still running. Still moving. Still getting stronger.  My Journey keeps evolving... becoming more complex as I go.  Running makes it easier - I need to remember that. As for today?  I ran, and it was good.

Unearned SWAG

Started running again this summer.  Feels good. As I was running the other day realized that I was wearing the sunglasses Alexander got when he played his trumpet for the Go Commando! mud race, and the shirt my girlfriend had given me that she received at a race.  I was wearing race SWAG that I had not earned. I took inspiration from it  - and decided it is time to collecting my own race SWAG in 2012 and 2013. Bring on the race goodie bags with MY name on them!

2036

Today I was one in a sea of green.  Bib #2036 in the 100% Irish for a Day 5K.  Among those that had on fabulous outfits of bouncy tutu's and shamrock headbands, funky socks and plaid skirts. Green hair and hair ribbons.  Thoughtful, coordinated, purposeful.  I wished I was one of them....   I  had on what I could put together to stop the wind coming off the lake. Black pants, pink shirt, light blue gloves, red headband.  Grateful for the green sweatshirt I was handed as a race token. Something green for me - I now fit in.

 Old, young, fast, slow, some alone, some in groups.  All there to walk and run together, moving around the lake like one flowing mass of bobbing heads and pounding feet. The movement of people propelled me, carried me along. It was an amazing feeling to part of something with an energy of its own.  I told myself I would not walk.  I didn't.  I kept on running, and running, and running.  Song after song.  Mile flag 1.  Then 2.  Almost there!  I couldn't walk now.  Round the bend. There were the fans lined up cheering us through the gauntlet.  It made me push harder, watching the clock at the finish line.  I found an extra push deep within.  38.22 minutes, minus the time lag at the start.  I finished in 36 minutes.  My goal was 43.  I was stunned.  Maybe from now on I should not look at the clock while I run - just listen to my body, and go. Maybe it was the beautiful spring weather, maybe adrenaline, maybe the Belfast Cowboys singing me along, maybe the luck of the Irish.  I don't know.  I do know it was a great feeling to cross the finish line running with runners ahead of me, and behind me.  We did it together.    ...looking forward to the next race.  It felt good.

War Games

Today felt good.  3.1 miles, posted best time so far.   I felt light today, my legs a little like springs.

I remember watching the movie War Games, in 1983, when I was 13 years old.  Sitting in the old Apache movie theater in Minneapolis, LOVING Matthew Broderick and wanting to BE Ally Sheedy. In one of the opening scenes her character Jennifer bounds up to David's house on springy legs, pony tail bouncing, sweaty, smiling, greeting the dog.  For some reason this image has always stuck with me.  I wanted to be her. Athletic, social, carefree and confident to be visiting David at his house.  Sweaty and not thinking a thing of it.  Plopping down in his desk chair accepting a Coke and looking so relaxed. Seemingly effortless. 

I want to look that effortless. That happy while I run.  I don't want to be one of those people you see going down the street with a pained look, shoulders hunched. The kind of person that makes you say out loud, "They don't look like they are having fun."

I want to bound up to my house after a run, smiling on springy legs.  Greeting whoever waits for me, pony tail bouncing, sweaty.    Today I feel athletic, social, confident.  Bring on the day.  "Do you want to play a game...?"   (Rent the movie. You will get the quote.  One of the best movies of the '80's)

Harriet - an old friend.

It's official now - registration is paid.  Running my first 5K on March 10th.  I have 3 weeks to power train. Yesterday and today under my belt.  One day at a time.

The race route is around Lake Harriet.  An old friend - but I will see it in a new way on race day.  I am a city girl, and have known this small, beautiful gem in the middle of the city my entire life.

My Dad would occasionally drive us by reminiscing of his boyhood days in South Mpls.

As a young girl it was a special treat to go hear a band at the bandshell and get a HUGE ice cream cone.  I would later go there on dates, and now bring my own kids on lazy summer evenings.

In High School I once walked around the lake with girlfriends - barefoot-  on a hot summer day and burnt the bottom of my feet so bad I could hardly wear shoes for days.

We once brought our California cousins for a "day at the beach" and I remember them laughing as they instinctually tried to jump at the shore expecting an undertow, and calling our sand, their dirt.  Once I traveled to CA, I understood what they were talking about.

I remember the band shell upside down in the lake after the tornado struck south Mpls.

I love to ride the trolly near the shore.

I once stood in the shallow water with girlfriends holding a ring from a boyfriend, comtemplating throwing it into the waves.   Later I drove by its shores on my wedding day for a drive through the rose gardens on the way to our reception.

So many memories - so much history with Harriet.

Time to add to them.  This time running.  Alone with my music. Thinking about all the good times as I pass each spot, triggering the thoughts of friends and family and good times.  This will keep me going. Glad I will be running with an old friend.

Pass/Fail

Today I didn't not want to get out of bed.  I have had a dry cough, headache.  But the my first 5K looms 5 weeks ahead.  Yep - I agree to run around Lake Harriet in the dead of winter.  I have a sinking feeling the warmest winter in 50 years is going to turn on me in early March.  But - I needed a goal.  SOMETHING to get me out of bed.

It was a hard, slow walk/run today.  No numbers were recorded at the end.  Normally I track time, distance, pace, calories.  Today no numbers were worth writing down.  I just gave myself a PASS on the chart.  I told myself I needed to get through 20 min - that's it.  Better than nothing.  Better than staying in bed.  At least I tried....   No FAIL for me today.